For my 30th birthday a few years ago I finally, FINALLY had my photo shoot experience. It was something that I had wanted to do for 10 years already and I promised myself that I would do it when I turned 30. I’m still kicking myself for waiting that long!

I booked my photo shoot months in advance so that I would be ready and I told myself I was not allowed to back out. No matter what, this shoot was happening! It was time to conquer the fear of being in front of the camera instead of only being safe and hidden behind it. I mean 10 bleeping years?! What was I waiting for? Why the hell didn’t I do this when I was 20?

When the day for the photo shoot arrived, was I confident and ready? Not really. Was I at my ideal weight for being photographed? Hell no! - but I had made myself a promise and I was sticking to it.

I showed up as nervous as ever and not quite feeling like myself. My confidence was down. I was worried about everything. How I styled my hair, how I did my makeup, my outfits and of course I was completely terrified of looking horrible in every shot! All of those nerves were there even though I already knew the photographer! She’s been one of my closest friends since high school so how the hell could I be so nervous around someone I’m completely comfortable with??

But the nerves passed, just like they do with any new experience. Joanne guided me through each pose and made me feel way more confident than I felt going into it.

Do I have any regrets about my photo shoot experience? Only that I didn’t get my hair and makeup done professionally. Am I an expert on self love and self acceptance now? No, it’s still a daily practice but every time I look at my album from this photo shoot, it honestly puts a smile on my face and a pep in my step.

Photos by my amazing and talented friend Joanne of Umbrella Tree Photography.